July 2021 - Sonya Kim: Now and Forever Celebrancy Services

9 July 20218 June 2023

Self care your way

What does self care mean to you? It is different for everyone. It’s what you do to look after yourself knowing what works for you or trying something to see if it enhances your physical, mental, emotional or wellbeing.

It may be something you do by yourself or with a friend or family member but you do it for yourself, not for someone else.

Meditation may be one in your toolkit. I like doing it on my own but also in groups, sometimes led by someone, just focusing on breath or incorporating yoga and movement.

Yoga is another great way to feel more relaxed or to re-energise. You can easily do it at home by yourself or with your dog but it’s also great fun to do it in a group with others.

Whatever you choose, it’s like that sporting adage, ‘just do it’. Because there’s literally nothing more important than you looking out for you. Especially mamas and other carers who often prioritise others’ needs ahead of ours. You‘ve got to put your oxygen mask on first. You’ve got to fill your cup because you can’t pour from an empty cup. Here’s another from Katie Reed: ‘Self-care is giving the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you.’

9 July 20218 June 2023

Be playful

Photo by Robert Collins on Unsplash

As parents of wee ones know well, date nights can be very hard to come by. Hubby and I have not yet managed to go out on an evening without Bub but we do try to watch a movie at home together whenever we can. It’s an important time to chill out, have a laugh and chat about anything, especially about non-Bub related stuff, even if that seems really hard.

I’ve long been following the offerings by The School of Life . Recently I’ve come across a card game for couples called Connect. You take turns to roll the die to see what colour card to pick from and you discuss the question or statement on the card, such as ‘What I really admire about you is…’ or ’If I had known you in childhood, I might have loved to…’

It might be something you do like ‘Have a small kiss; make it last five seconds’. It may seem silly to play a game like this but playfulness is key to sustaining good relationships and curiosity about each other is also critical.

You might have to think hard about your answers and you could be surprised by your partner’s answers. You’ll probably feel really good by the end of the game. It may lead to more conversations and in my book that’s a wonderful outcome.

9 July 20218 June 2023

Barefoot date nights

Photo by Ksenia Gord on Unsplash

We know that wellbeing can mean good physical health, a sound mind, self esteem and having a social life. Financial wellbeing is also important as it affects your sense of security, hope for the future and what you can afford including holidays.

Along with most of Australia, I‘m a big fan of The Barefoot Investor. His weekly emails make me laugh and also teach me cautionary tales based on what’s happened or happening with real people who have money trouble. I have gifted his books to many friends and two have become debt-free in a very short time as a result!

Scott Pape’s simple but effective advice, to get couples to have a date night to talk about money, the number one thing couples argue about, is gold.

Taboo around money and the mindset we developed from a young age about money can be difficult to overcome but it’s essential to understand because it holds the key to financial freedom and happy marriage.

9 July 20218 June 2023

Home

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

I was in beautiful Byron Bay earlier in the year (when we could travel) I thought about the airport being a place where we all think about ‘coming home’ and what that means for us all.

The last scene in the movie ‘Love Actually’ captures it really well. I had a truly wonderful time away from home but of course I had Bub, a big part of my home, with me and I was missing Hubby who is my home.

Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh explains that in the Vietnamese language the wife refers to her husband as her home and vice versa. It’s very sweet and it seems to confirm that old adage that ‘home is where the heart is’.

Elvis Presley knew it too when he sang ’Home is where the heart is’:

For home is where the heart is

And my heart is anywhere you are

Anywhere you are is home

Home, home, home, home

Why not have some fun with it and tell your partner, ‘welcome home Home’ or ‘I love you, my Home’ as you impersonate Elvis – lips, hips and all.

9 July 20218 June 2023

Through thick and thin

Photo by ali elliott on Unsplash

It’s tough being in relationship with someone, even if it’s the one you love. Inevitably there will be ups and downs in life and this is why the marriage vows emphasise being there for each other in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer.

In a relationship workshop I attended with my now Hubby early on, the first teaching was that we are not perfect and so we should not expect perfection from each other. It set us up well! The book that encapsulates this concept poetically is ‘Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships’ by John Welwood.

The Hakomi HEART training is focused on mindfulness and compassion for yourself and your partner. I trained in HEART and I include what I learned in my Celebrancy⁺ packages to help couples find an even deeper emotional understanding of themselves and each other in marriage.

9 July 20218 June 2023

Know your love language

Photo by Hannah Wright on Unsplash

As you plan your wedding, try a love language quiz together. The 5 love languages are the ways we give and receive love, which are easy to remember as the 5 Ts: (physical) Touch, Talk (words of affirmation), Token (gifts), (quality) Time and Task (acts of service).

You may already have a good idea of yours and your partner’s love languages or you may be surprised to find out. Either way, it’s another way to be on the same page in terms of concepts and to get to understand each other better. I include the questionnaire in my Celebrancy Plus⁺ package so that you don’t only take time together to decide on the cake for the wedding but know if cake is part of the love language in the marriage. Interested? Reach out to me and find out more.

9 July 20218 June 2023

Ice bath, anyone?

Photo by Lubomirkin on Unsplash

Have you heard of the Wim Hof Breathing Method? It’s really taken off, especially for men. It incorporates yogic breathing, mindful movement but its signature feature is ice baths.

There’s a good long read about a workshop in Melbourne that’s popular with tradies.

I‘m so glad there’s a way for men to embrace yoga, meditation and wellbeing in this way. Typically, yoga classes and meditation retreats are dominated by women attendees but I’d love to see a balance (and kids) as everyone can benefit from it. Moreover, I firmly believe that couples and families who yoga together stay together. There’s a lot of poses and exercises we can do to be attuned to and in support of one another in yoga and meditation. If you’re getting married and want to give couples yoga and meditation a try, I’m your celebrant!

9 July 20218 June 2023

How to ‘quiet the mind’

Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash

A book challenge from my friend on Facebook has been thought provoking for me all week. There are several books which have been seminal for me in terms of learning and teaching yoga and meditation.

One work of art I’ve come across that I have previously included in my mindfulness course is ‘Quiet the Mind’ by Matthew Johnstone. Matthew is an author and illustrator who draws on his lived experience of depression and meditation. His work with his wife, Ainsley Johnstone is as honest and moving as it is educational and invaluable.

It’s so important to have help and understanding when you have mental health issues. Please reach out. In Australia, Lifeline is a free telephone crisis counselling service that’s available 24-7 on 13 11 14 and online.

9 July 20218 June 2023

Yoga with Bub

Photo by Ana Tablas on Unsplash

A part of my morning routine is doing a few sun salutations with Bub watching on as he plays with his blocks. It delights me to see him light up as he watches me yoga. He giggles when I move into cobra from downward facing dog and I stick out my tongue like a lion. I look forward to doing more yoga with him over the years, in addition to the hugging meditation and forward bending poses.

Bub, as all babies are natural yogis, clearly shows me up with the ease of which he puts his feet in his mouth and Happy Baby comes naturally to him too. I can’t wait to do couples yoga with him as it’s so much fun and it’s a great way to connect through breath, laughter and to tune into one another on a deep level.

Here’s a link to a few poses (beginner, intermediate and advanced levels) you can try with your partner, mum, son or friend. Give it a go in today and let me know how you go!