Self care Archives - Sonya Kim: Now and Forever Celebrancy Services

1 November 20241 November 2024

Marriage advice from a divorce lawyer

This week I listened to this podcast (this link has an 8 minute highlight reel of The Diary of a CEO interview with James Sexton). Even though it was over 2 hours long, I had to listen in one go as it was compelling stuff. The biggest take-away for me is the advice to ‘pay attention to you, me and the we’. New York divorce lawyer, James Sexton thought couples divorce because they don’t do this well enough. It is losing interest in your partner, not being true to your own needs or focusing too much on the children. It is not caring enough about the two of you as a unit. It’s of course, easier said than done, but loving and respectful relationships are very well worth it. This simple advice might just help us stay on track.

As a celebrant and relationship coach, I love discussing advice like this with you. I would love to work with you to help find out, continue or create rituals that work for you. I draw on the work of reputable professionals like The Gottman Institute and wonderful resources like from The School of Life to supplement my training in mindful relationships. You can work with me in the lead up to your wedding and afterwards to help you stay strong in marriage. I tailor it to what suits you and it often involves yoga, meditation and playful games to explore and extend your curiosity about yourself and one another. Please let me know if you’d like to find out more.

6 July 20236 July 2023

A healthy detox that won’t leave you hungry

Photo by Kawin Harasai on Unsplash

Many couples start a diet before the big day so that they look fantastic in their dress and suit. But many starve themselves of nourishment and become cranky which is not the ideal preparation for the wedding.

What if there was a way to cleanse your system, lose weight and feel great, without getting ‘hangry’ and snappy at everyone?

My yoga training was based on the macrobiotic diet. Simply put, it’s centred on wholefoods like brown rice, vegetables, beans, fruit, seaweed, lean meat and dairy food that is not processed or altered in any way like skim milk. In this diet, we minimise foods that Michael Pollan said your great-great grandmother wouldn’t recognise as food.

So it’s not a radical way to eat, just a healthier way and it’s easy to do because essentially it’s about getting more veg and wholegrains on your plate so you get the nutrition and energy you need for all the decisions you have to make about the wedding and honeymoon.

Here are a few simple brown rice recipes to try tonight. Let me know how you feel afterwards!

8 June 20238 June 2023

Can marriage education be fun?

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

When you hear about pre-marital education courses, especially the ones run by pastors or counsellors, fun is not the first word that comes to mind, is it? Uncomfortable, awkward, serious or boring might be what you’re thinking. But these courses are valuable because it’s time together to discuss the big questions as a couple and potentially a family.

When you have a civil ceremony rather than a religious one, there is no obligation of marriage education or counselling but it’s definitely recommended. Just like your ceremony, it can be done ‘your way’ – over pizza and beer, on a weekend drive or over a series of date nights. What is important is the space you create and time you invest in having honest and real conversations about your expectations, values, management of finances and kids.

I’m a believer in making marriage education fun. I have tools that will help you ease into the big topics and can support you to communicate them to each other. I have quizzes, games, mindfulness sessions and of course yoga resources too. You already know each other well so it’ll be easy to get on the same page about what’s important to you and your partner. Investing time for your relationship is a very important part of the wedding preparation that can get way down the list. But it may be the key to having a great marriage together for a lifetime and not just a fantastic wedding day.

If you’re interested in exploring how you can do some fun marriage prep with me, just reach out to me.

26 May 20238 June 2023

Winter warmer with a difference

Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash

Are you feeling the cold? I hope you’re nourishing yourself with soup, rest and snuggles. But do you want a new and fun way to keep warm this winter? And build the bond with your partner through well-earned sweat and tears of laughter?

Try couples yoga!

It’s more than working out together which you might already be doing. It’s working together to deepen your own posture and supporting your partner to get to their ‘sweet spot’ in terms of stretch.

Even if you have a huge height difference there are ways you can lean in and be a pillar of support for each other. It’ll challenge you, make you laugh and give cause to admire and respect one another. Believe me, yoga can make you sweat, working the much-neglected muscles in your body and stretching your mind in subtle yet huge ways.

Get it touch with me now to try a taster on Zoom: sonya.j.kim@gmail.com

9 July 20218 June 2023

Self care your way

Photo by Artem Kovalev on Unsplash

What does self care mean to you? It is different for everyone. It’s what you do to look after yourself knowing what works for you or trying something to see if it enhances your physical, mental, emotional or wellbeing.

It may be something you do by yourself or with a friend or family member but you do it for yourself, not for someone else.

Meditation may be one in your toolkit. I like doing it on my own but also in groups, sometimes led by someone, just focusing on breath or incorporating yoga and movement.

Yoga is another great way to feel more relaxed or to re-energise. You can easily do it at home by yourself or with your dog but it’s also great fun to do it in a group with others.

Whatever you choose, it’s like that sporting adage, ‘just do it’. Because there’s literally nothing more important than you looking out for you. Especially mamas and other carers who often prioritise others’ needs ahead of ours. You‘ve got to put your oxygen mask on first. You’ve got to fill your cup because you can’t pour from an empty cup. Here’s another from Katie Reed: ‘Self-care is giving the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you.’