Relationship counselling Archives - Sonya Kim: Now and Forever Celebrancy Services

9 July 20218 June 2023

Be playful

As parents of wee ones know well, date nights can be very hard to come by. Hubby and I have not yet managed to go out on an evening without Bub but we do try to watch a movie at home together whenever we can. It’s an important time to chill out, have a laugh and chat about anything, especially about non-Bub related stuff, even if that seems really hard.

I’ve long been following the offerings by The School of Life . Recently I’ve come across a card game for couples called Connect. You take turns to roll the die to see what colour card to pick from and you discuss the question or statement on the card, such as ‘What I really admire about you is…’ or ’If I had known you in childhood, I might have loved to…’

It might be something you do like ‘Have a small kiss; make it last five seconds’. It may seem silly to play a game like this but playfulness is key to sustaining good relationships and curiosity about each other is also critical.

You might have to think hard about your answers and you could be surprised by your partner’s answers. You’ll probably feel really good by the end of the game. It may lead to more conversations and in my book that’s a wonderful outcome.

9 July 20218 June 2023

Barefoot date nights

Photo by Ksenia Gord on Unsplash

We know that wellbeing can mean good physical health, a sound mind, self esteem and having a social life. Financial wellbeing is also important as it affects your sense of security, hope for the future and what you can afford including holidays.

Along with most of Australia, I‘m a big fan of The Barefoot Investor. His weekly emails make me laugh and also teach me cautionary tales based on what’s happened or happening with real people who have money trouble. I have gifted his books to many friends and two have become debt-free in a very short time as a result!

Scott Pape’s simple but effective advice, to get couples to have a date night to talk about money, the number one thing couples argue about, is gold.

Taboo around money and the mindset we developed from a young age about money can be difficult to overcome but it’s essential to understand because it holds the key to financial freedom and happy marriage.

9 July 20218 June 2023

Through thick and thin

Photo by ali elliott on Unsplash

It’s tough being in relationship with someone, even if it’s the one you love. Inevitably there will be ups and downs in life and this is why the marriage vows emphasise being there for each other in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer.

In a relationship workshop I attended with my now Hubby early on, the first teaching was that we are not perfect and so we should not expect perfection from each other. It set us up well! The book that encapsulates this concept poetically is ‘Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships’ by John Welwood.

The Hakomi HEART training is focused on mindfulness and compassion for yourself and your partner. I trained in HEART and I include what I learned in my Celebrancy⁺ packages to help couples find an even deeper emotional understanding of themselves and each other in marriage.

9 July 20218 June 2023

Know your love language

Photo by Hannah Wright on Unsplash

As you plan your wedding, try a love language quiz together. The 5 love languages are the ways we give and receive love, which are easy to remember as the 5 Ts: (physical) Touch, Talk (words of affirmation), Token (gifts), (quality) Time and Task (acts of service).

You may already have a good idea of yours and your partner’s love languages or you may be surprised to find out. Either way, it’s another way to be on the same page in terms of concepts and to get to understand each other better. I include the questionnaire in my Celebrancy Plus⁺ package so that you don’t only take time together to decide on the cake for the wedding but know if cake is part of the love language in the marriage. Interested? Reach out to me and find out more.

26 February 20218 June 2023

The same old fights

Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash

Have you heard of Esther Perel? She’s a psychotherapist famous for her TED talks on sex but I love her podcast about relationships, ‘Where should we begin?’

There is great reading relevant to couples having the same old fights. It turns out that the fights we have with our partners are often not about them but us.

What’s promising is that once we understand ourselves, we’re not forever bound by our patterns if we work to create new positive ones with our partners. It’s another reminder to me that relationships need work but they are so rewarding.

I’d be so happy to work with you and your partner on your wedding ceremony and help you understand the same old fights. Please let me know if you’re interested!